I am not an average bride. I have never been one much for ceremony. I profane of extravagance and quite avoid most situations that place me as the center of attention. Now, I am engaged to the love of my life and am looking forward to promising him that I will be there with him for the rest of forever. I am in no hurry, however to don the most expensive garment I will ever own and trot down the aisle in front of scores of people in order to carry out a ritual filled with societal norms plucked from a time when what Queen Victoria said went but women were still second class citizens in a patriarchal world.
For me, wedding planning has been a challenge because there are two parts of me that keep dueling it out over the whole thing. I was a philosophy major. I question everything. One part of me comes up with all of these questions and the other part says oh well, who cares. As long as Nick is there what do you care if you participate in a ceremony that recalls those times when women were subservient to men and spending loads of money on a wedding was admired by all. But then, again, with the questions… Is the fact that the typical wedding ceremony still contains all of these things not indicative of the fact that our “modern” society still reeks of these most putrid examples of societal bilge? Why does the girl have to walk down the aisle and be given away? Why can’t his mom walk him down the aisle just as my dad will walk me? Why do all of the bridesmaids have to buy a new dress? Why do people think you should have two cakes? Why do I have to send an invitation to people that know when and where I am getting married and that they are invited? Why do invitations really need two envelopes? How many starving children could be fed for a year with the amount of money that people spend on the average wedding? Then there are the getting-married-in-the-Catholic-church questions. Why do I have to tell them six months before I want to get married if I have been dating my fiancé for six years? Why does the church cost $1,500? Why can’t I get married outside?
There are more, but you get the idea. I realize that many of those questions have what some see as legitimate answers and that others have a common answer: “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. It is your wedding”. But is it really? I mean if it were not for being Catholic and part of a humongous family not to mention our friends I would just go buy some whiteish dress, any one from some department store somewhere, buy a suit for the guy, go out in a field somewhere or something and just have a little ceremony with 25 people and champagne and chicken fingers or something.
I have done no wedding planning so far. We are at t-minus 7 months and counting. Seven months as of yesterday. This blog will be the place in which I reconcile all of my thoughts and ideas to bring off the event at which I get to promise in front of God and everybody that I will stand by Him forever and always no matter what. Come along with me as I attempt to get that done.
For me, wedding planning has been a challenge because there are two parts of me that keep dueling it out over the whole thing. I was a philosophy major. I question everything. One part of me comes up with all of these questions and the other part says oh well, who cares. As long as Nick is there what do you care if you participate in a ceremony that recalls those times when women were subservient to men and spending loads of money on a wedding was admired by all. But then, again, with the questions… Is the fact that the typical wedding ceremony still contains all of these things not indicative of the fact that our “modern” society still reeks of these most putrid examples of societal bilge? Why does the girl have to walk down the aisle and be given away? Why can’t his mom walk him down the aisle just as my dad will walk me? Why do all of the bridesmaids have to buy a new dress? Why do people think you should have two cakes? Why do I have to send an invitation to people that know when and where I am getting married and that they are invited? Why do invitations really need two envelopes? How many starving children could be fed for a year with the amount of money that people spend on the average wedding? Then there are the getting-married-in-the-Catholic-church questions. Why do I have to tell them six months before I want to get married if I have been dating my fiancé for six years? Why does the church cost $1,500? Why can’t I get married outside?
There are more, but you get the idea. I realize that many of those questions have what some see as legitimate answers and that others have a common answer: “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. It is your wedding”. But is it really? I mean if it were not for being Catholic and part of a humongous family not to mention our friends I would just go buy some whiteish dress, any one from some department store somewhere, buy a suit for the guy, go out in a field somewhere or something and just have a little ceremony with 25 people and champagne and chicken fingers or something.
I have done no wedding planning so far. We are at t-minus 7 months and counting. Seven months as of yesterday. This blog will be the place in which I reconcile all of my thoughts and ideas to bring off the event at which I get to promise in front of God and everybody that I will stand by Him forever and always no matter what. Come along with me as I attempt to get that done.
i'm down for champagne and chicken fingers. i'll even wear a dress i already own :)
ReplyDeleteI'll bring the honey mustard! (Lindsey told me you have an excellent blog, btw, so I came to check it out.)
ReplyDelete